PART FIVE: THE PRIDE OF THE YANKEES
Oh! what a tangled web was woven,
When Joe Torre fell and faltered,
Leaping back into the past,
Time’s current torn and altered.
Two glowing crystal balls,
Carried back into aught-three,
Soaring through the storied past,
Of New York Yankee history.
In a blink, the orbs had gone,
With a wink, both crystals vanished,
Stolen by a wrathful wretch,
From God’s Kingdom fore’er banished.
Then with a flash, a mighty crash,
In the second subsequent:
The orbs returned and in the hands,
Of an angel, Heaven-sent.
Such sweet relief to stop the thief,
Did Jeter Fair now surely feel,
And in praise for his success,
Now unto God did Jeter kneel.
Then rising, having prayed,
And given thanks unto the Lord,
Fair Jeter placed the orbs,
Upon the stand where they were stored.
And having done this deed in times of need,
He did prepare,
To journey back in time,
To his right “when” and proper “where”.

But he could not resist,
Just one glimpse of days to be,
Before he ventured back,
And took his place in history.
Then walking through the halls,
Of that hallowed Yankee Stade,
He saw that photographs,
Of Yankee greats were there displayed:
Joltin’ Joe, the Great Bambino,
Phil Rizzuto, Ford and Case,
The Mighty Mick and Roger Maris:
M & M boys giving chase.
And there too he saw a few,
He recognized from his own era,
Like Coney and O’Neill,
Andy Pettitte, Mo Rivera.
And high amongst the hangings,
Much to Jeter’s great delight:
An image of himself,
Leaping up and taking flight,
Surrounded by his teammates,
On what seemed a joyous day;
In the background, on the scoreboard,
“Mr. November” did it say.
And standing there, in awe,
Excitement flowing through each wing,
Fair Jeter wondered wildly,
What his future days would bring.
Then with a flash, having repaired,
The sin that he was sent to fix,
Fair Jeter left to join his team:
The Yanks of ‘96.

Now high up in the rafters,
Watching, waiting all the while,
Gazing at his younger self,
With a most enchanted smile,
Was the Jeter of the present,
Now a Yank for countless days,
Whose exploits on the field,
As the Captain won him praise.
And flying up above,
To watch his wide-eyed twin depart,
Fair Jeter felt a sadness,
Gnawing at his elder heart:
For while he had succeeded,
Winning rings through his career,
He missed that innocence,
That with time does disappear,
That awestruck sense of wonder,
When all seems bright and new,
To those rookies entering,
The ranks of baseball’s chosen few.

But such thoughts were fast to flee,
For Fair Jeter here had traveled,
To catch the vile villain,
Whose heinous plot he had unraveled.
And just as Jeter hoped,
Like a moth unto a flame,
In that moment, Satan’s demon,
Into Yankee Stadium came:
Joe Torre, bruised and gory,
With a face all scarred and swollen,
Traveling back home with the last,
Of the powers he had stolen.
Then leaping with a shout,
Fair Jeter burst down through the air,
Grabbing onto twisted Torre,
His opponent unaware.
Then pinning down the pawn,
Of the evil Prince of Lies,
Fair Jeter, with great anger,
Looked into the demon’s eyes:
“Through the eons did I chase you,
“On that ballfield did I face you,
“Then went home to sit beside you,
“And in our happy times, embrace you.
“You were but a nameless beast,
“Whom I pursued for God Above,
“Unaware that under there:
“The father figure that I’d loved.
“How it breaks my beating heart,
“To know our team you tore apart!
“What happened to the one,
“Who gave me guidance from the start,
“Of my career, who I held dear,
“Who showed me strength when I did fear,
“What say you, twisted traitor,
“Now that your end is surely near?”
To which Torre replied, with laughing eyes,
“Good never wins,
“And I have found true power,
“In the devil’s den of sins.
“And ’tis you who should prepare,
“To look into your Maker’s eyes,
“For ’tis you, oh foolish fair one,
“Who is about to die.”

And just then, from behind,
A mighty blow to Jeter’s back,
That echoed through the chamber,
With a loud and booming crack.
Then glancing up above,
Jeter saw a brute uncanny,
A fiend in Stockings Red:
The mythic monster known as Manny.
And as the room resounded,
With the wicked laugh of Joe,
And as the fell beast Manny,
Did prepare his killing blow,
A light of brightest white,
Did appear then suddenly,
And the sound of beating wings,
Caused the villains then to flee.
Then squinting in the glow,
Jeter saw a welcome face:
The Hitman, Donnie Baseball,
Returning to his rightful place.

Then checking on Fair Jeter,
Making sure his friend was fine,
Donnie said, “I’m off,”
“For to waste, there is no time.
“For in this very room,
“The New York Yanks I did betray,
“And that is still a debt,
“That I feel I must repay.
“So I will track down Joe,
“That deadly demon, I’ll approach,
“And win his trust again,
“And become his hitting coach.
“And though he shall believe,
“That to his side, I did ally,
“In truth, for New York’s Yankees,
“Shall I be a faithful spy.”

Then wishing him Godspeed,
Jeter bid proud Don farewell,
As the Hitman went in search,
Of the vile hosts of hell.
And as he then prepared,
To flap his wings and fly away,
His eyes caught sight of something,
Which did cause him great dismay:
There upon their resting place,
In that legendary park,
Aura and Mystique,
The orbs from Heaven had gone dark.

***********************************

Oh! what sorrow swept the land,
Pre-empting pinstriped Yankee pride,
Oh! such a misery,
That sweet Suzyn Waldman cried.
And when asked where winning went,
Michael Kay did cry out, “See ya!”
And fans across the land,
Cast out that their Yankee memorabilia.
And for the Yankees’ Sterling voice,
Doubts did run mighty “high”,
And hope was so “far” “gone”,
That he could muster but a sigh.
And as the Bombers floundered,
Bereft of their old magic,
As playoff dreams collapsed,
Replaced with losses oh so tragic,
Out west, Joe Torre laughed,
To see such fate befall the good,
As he and Manny found success,
In the hills of Hollywood.
And soon the thoughts crept in,
That maybe sin had overcome,
The forces of the faithful,
Who fought for the Holy One.
And seeing that God’s gifts,
Of gratitude had lost their glow,
The thought that God had left them,
Within the chosen ones did grow.

And yet there was still one,
Who refused to turn away,
Who spoke out about the threat,
Of falling under Satan’s sway:
The one the Yankees long ago
Had chosen as their leader,
The future Hall-of-Famer,
The Captain, Derek Jeter.
And setting out to prove,
That the Almighty’s love was true,
Fair Jeter began constructing,
An altar grand and new:
A revised Yankee Stade,
To offer praise to Him Above,
A token of affection,
To the God Fair Jeter loved.
And as the losses mounted,
Brick by brick did Jeter build,
A temple to the Heavens,
That God’s will might be fulfilled.
And when at last he’d finished,
To the fans he then appealed,
To join him  in ‘09,
At this pristine Yankee field.

And yet the fans still doubted,
To them, the future still seemed bleak:
“How are we to win,
“Without Aura and Mystique?”
And as the season closed,
Several Yankees did lose heart:
Abreu, and Giambi,
And Mussina did depart.

And sitting all alone,
In this home that he had built,
Fair Jeter sat and prayed,
His tortured soul now racked with guilt:
“Oh! if you deem it worthy,
“You in whom I do believe,
“Please give me a sign,
“And this grief, from me relieve.
“For I have tried my best,
“To follow light in times of dark,
“To show my faith in you,
“By off’ring up this brand new park.
“And yet, my teammates leave,
“And the fans are filled with fright,
“Please give me a sign,
“Show me how to set things right.”
And then Fair Jeter waited,
Hoping to him God would speak,
But he did not receive,
The sign from God that he did seek.
Then glancing up above,
He offered love then turned to go,
When at once he felt a rumble,
That started softly, then did grow.
The sound of metal hooves,
Galloping throughout the halls,
A sound like rolling thunder,
That did shake the concrete walls.
And then at last, there did appear,
A great ghost of Yankees past,
Lou Gehrig, ‘pon on Iron Horse,
Riding hard and charging fast.

Then raising up his steed,
To a stop, this legend came,
And Jeter saw that in his hand,
He held a torch, aflame.
“Fair Jeter,” said the ghost,
“I am here to offer thanks,
“For you have made us proud,
“We who claimed the name of “Yanks”.
“For you have learned the lesson,
“That God hath taught you well:
“That true strength layeth not,
“In those things material.
“The gifts that that God has granted,
“In ourselves they do reside,
“Belief in our own talents:
“That’s the source of Yankee pride.”
And then the legend Gehrig,
Did leap down and pass the torch,
And the flame did burn so bright,
That the Heavens, it did scorch.
And this brand new Yankee Stadium,
Did blaze with a gleaming light,
As the cherubs up above,
Raised their voice in song that night,
And rejoiced at Yankee triumphs,
In the battle against sin,
Crying out, in unison,
“The Yankees win! THE YANKEES WIN!”

PART FOUR: LEGENDS
Now faster than a rocket,
In the sky did Jeter fly,
On a race, through time and space,
The devil’s dark dreams to deny.
And with a power from Above,
Filled with love, the rookie raced,
Tracking Torre, his fell quarry,
Setting off a cross-time race,
Sprite and demon, ancient beings,
One so chaste and one immoral,
Hurtled back through Yankee history,
In a tussle trans-temporal:

Grappling near the outfield wall,
Manned by Barfield and Mel Hall,
Then past the ‘pen these two did plough,
Over Hawkins, Plunk and Howe.

Throughout the 80’s, so arrayed,
Opposed as foes while Winfield played,
Raging through Rickey and Rags,
Rushing past Randolph and Pags.
Crashing, clashing near Claudell
One sent from God and one from Hell,
Striking blows throughout the park,
Home to Meacham and Jack Clark.

Then through the 70’s, swiftly swirling,
Wing-ed warriors wildly whirling,
On they flew, these fateful two,
Through the cages of Bronx Zoo.
And though Torre struck at Dent,
His fell blow did Jetes prevent,
And as the demon rolled and roared,
O’er the Monster, victory soared.
And though the Bronx did surely burn,
Such concern was soon interned,
For Reggie’s strength came straight from Heaven,
In Game 6 in ‘77,
And thanks to Jeter, Torre missed,
A killing shot at Chris Chambliss,
Then to the 60’s, surging on,
Jeter tailing Satan’s spawn.

An aging Mick was soon replaced,
BY Mighty Mantle giving chase,
In the quest for 61,
And God’s will was surely done:
Torre sought to change the truth,
By Jeter’s aid, Maris passed Ruth,
By providence, the Yanks empowered,
Those teams of Skowron, Ford and Howard.

Then to the 50’s flying on,
Jeter’s journey, days bygone.
Grappling in God’s Holy Name,
Saving Larsen’s perfect game,
Preserve the past, his sacred vow,
Scooter shouting, “Holy cow!”
Blasting right past Case and Berra,
Through this hallowed Yankee era.

Then in the 40’s, Torre did seek,
To thwart the Clipper’s hitting streak,
But while Torre whispered, “Walk”,
On his path, did Jeter stalk,
And by God’s Grace, DiMag extended,
Satan’s vile plans, upended,
And that streak, still it would run,
To 56 in ‘41.

Then to the 30’s, giving way,
Granting Lou his lucky day,
Beaming on a steaming course,
Racing past the Iron Horse.

To the 20’s, Joe did sow,
Seeds of doubt ‘pon Murderer’s Row,
But on his tail was Jeter hot,
And Ruth did call his famous shot!
And the Maker’s might fulfilled,
Yankee Stadium did Ruth build!
Home to all this Yankee lore,
Saved by Jeter, strong and sure!

Then shouting with great rage,
Mephisto’s monster then did flee,
To the dawn of Yankee legends,
‘Pon the Hilltop in aught-three.
And as he flew, Fair Jeter knew,
The battle’s end was surely nigh,
That the duel would be decided,
‘Pon those holy Lands most High.

Then halting in mid-flight,
He did descend onto the field,
Then calling out to Joe, his foul foe,
He shouted, “Yield!”
But Joe could not be seen,
This vile fiend had gone to hide,
Taking cover in the stands,
While Jeter Fair, the villain eyed.
His plot thus far prevented,
This demented demon schemed:
One more chance to take the vengeance,
Of which his sinful soul now dreamed,
And with the sacred orbs at his command,
Fell Torre planned,
To kill the Lord’s first Yankees,
Whose arrival was at hand.
Then summoning the powers,
Of great Aura and Mystique,
And laughing with delight,
At the damage he would wreak,
Torre did call forth,
A bursting blaze of energy,
To be directed at each angel,
Who did claim the name “Yankee”.

Then from his spot near short,
Fair Jeter, ‘pon that fateful night,
Gazed out with great awe,
And saw God’s chosen ones alight,
Upon the field of play,
Landing softly out in left,
And their presence brought him cheer,
These pioneers, of sin bereft.
For though he had traversed,
The universe of Yankees past,
And encountered every hero,
That Yankee legends had amassed,
To see the likes of Chesbro,
And Wee Keeler made him burst,
For these were more than icons:
These great Yankees were the First.
And to see their innocence,
A wide-eyed wonderment so dear,
Did move the young Fair Jeter,
And to his eye, did bring a tear.

But as he watched in silence,
Staring at the hosts on high,
Torre leapt down to home plate,
Crying out, “Die, Yankees, die!”
And on that field most blessed,
So filled with rage and angry spite,
Joe unleashed his weapon,
Which ‘pon the angels would ignite.
And watching as it rolled,
Towards the hole ‘tween third and short,
Fair Jeter moved with instinct,
As sure doom he sought to thwart:
Ranging to his right,
The angel snared the bounding bomb,
Then leaping in the air,
A pirouette, with such aplomb,
He threw across his body,
A perfect strike, to home he sent,
And as the sphere exploded,
Into the air, fell Torre went,
Releasing both the orbs,
Those precious gifts bestowed by Heaven,
Which Jeter deftly caught,
To take them home, back to ‘07.

Having heard from some of the teachers amongst you that you’ve been reading these to your classes, I’ve edited the third part of Yankee Tales, removing the political passages that were originally included, so that you may still use them without offending anyone. The original version can still be found below.

PART THREE: THE ONE
Now tumbling back through time,
Twisted Torre and his liege,
The once heroic Hitman,
Here a monster, Mattingly,
Did surely go, to Chicago,
Upon the 12th of May;
In ‘96, ChiSox and Yanks,
Did play upon that day.

‘Twas on that fateful afternoon,
That Torre first believed,
That goals of Series wins,
Had a chance to be achieved.
For on that fateful afternoon,
Upon that crucial date,
His team did fall behind:
Yankees 0, ChiSox 8.
But rather than give up,
The Yankees chose to stand and fight,
And there in inning four,
A raucous rally did ignite:
The righteous ones, scratched out a run,
As Ruben ran ‘cross home,
And here is where our hero,
Makes his way into this poem.

Now after Fox did double,
Sending Backstop Joe to third,
A young man stepped up to the plate,
And turned his head skyward,
And with angelic calm,
He then did raise a prayer to Heaven,
To ask God to assist him,
With his team still down by seven.
Then with a steely poise,
And a batting eye precise,
This fledging, like our Savior,
Did choose to sacrifice.
And though he was a neophyte,
The Yanks did see a leader:
The man who would be Captain,
Their new Shortstop, Derek Jeter.
 
A legend for all time, who would combine,
A boyish bliss,
With the spirit of a warrior,
Every time he pumped his fist.
This angel unsurpassed,
Rejecting flash for stylish grace,
Whom men would dub Fair Jeter,
For his most cherubic face.
An angel without equal,
In the ways of bat and glove,
Who wore his pinstripes proudly,
Praising Yahweh up above,
And though he’d self-efface, he took his place,
‘Tween Ruth and Martin,
Number 2, whose legend grew,
with each foe he did dishearten,
And whose love was surely shared,
With lovely ladies everywhere,
But who vowed, by God in Heaven,
His virginity to spare,
Until his wedding day, but back in May,
His rookie year,
The world had caught but glimpses,
Of this storybook career.
 
Now from a creaky perch,
Atop the new Comiskey Park,
Joe Torre and the Hitman,
Vile villains of the Dark,
Did sit in sheer disgust; Chicago’s gusts,
Did not abate,
As the Yankees capped their comeback,
By a score of 9-8.
Led by Mighty Tino, like the Bambino,
Going yard,
While Paul O’Neill and Raines,
ChiSox pitching, did bombard.
Then Girardi drove in three,
And to the pen the Yankees gave,
A lead, which Mo would hold,
And which John Wetteland then would save.
And seeing this, the devilish,
Joe Torre sneered and snarled,
Then grabbed his evil ally,
With claws withered, worn and gnarled:
“How my blackened soul, as dark as coal,
“Does burn with hate,
“When I watch and when I hear,
“The Yankees cheer and celebrate,
“For long was I fool,
“Who did ally with pinstripe pride,
“’fore I found the force of fear,
“And their feeble God denied.
“And I did play a part, in the start,
“Of this latest streak,
“A dynasty, in the late 90s;
“How it causes me to shriek,
“For it was here, momentum built,
“Then quite a blaze it soon became,
“When Doc Gooden took the mound,
“On Yankee ground, in our next game,
“And though an age-d dolt,
“Whose talent long ago had quit,
“Doc Gooden pitched that game,
“Without giving up a hit.
“How it galls me, and appalls me,
“To think that I did cheer,
“So delighted and excited,
“At our prospects for that year,
“Never knowing that the reasons, for those seasons,
“Were a fraud,
“That no reward would be bestowed,
“By such a lying God,
“And the blood and sweat and tears,
“I surely shed, oh, so misled!
“Now I shall have my vengeance,
“When I strike these Yankees dead!
“And who shall be the first,
“But the Fairest one of all,
“Derek Jeter, sorry sop,
“Shall be the first of them to fall!
“Come my faithful liege, let us lay siege,
“To New York’s Yanks,
“Then unto mighty Satan,
“Shall we give eternal thanks!”

Then racing from the rafters,
Loosing laughter in his glee,
He called to his companion,
“Come and join me, Mattingly!”
But though he still felt spurned,
And surely yearned to curse the Yanks,
Who had deemed to squash his dreams,
Of managing their righteous ranks,
Joe’s murder lust, did still disgust,
Ol’ Number 23,
And in his heart, in no small part,
He still felt sympathy,
For the team who had been family,
For those who’d given him a home,
Who stood there by his side,
And vowed he’d never fight alone.
And there, with much despair,
The humbled Hitman did cry out,
To ask God for forgiveness,
Then with a mighty shout,
Did swoop down with great speed,
His Yanks in need of his assistance,
And catching up to Joe, he stopped his foe,
With fierce resistance.
The demon scratched and clawed,
In utter rage to be betrayed,
And struck at Mattingly,
For the weakness he’d displayed,
For just as Joe’s fell killing blow,
Was ’bout to be unleashed,
Young Jeter Fair, still unaware:
From Reaper’s reach released.

Then calling out below,
Mattingly bid Jeter, “Fly!”
But Fair Jeter, far from fleeing,
Joined the battle in the sky,
And with their might combined,
The once and future Yankee Caps,
Did fight the Satan spawn,
Till it did crumble and collapse,
But ever shrewd, the devil’s brood,
Did escape their wrath divine,
Fleeing then, to some new “when”,
Somewhere further back in time.
 
Turning then to Mattingly, Derek did see,
The damage done,
For Donnie had been ravaged,
Though the battle had been won.
“Hurry now,” the Hitman cried,
“In the balance hangs the fate,
“Of every legend, every epic,
“That past Yankees did create.
“That wicked beast, its hate unleashed,
“Stole the sacred crystal balls,
“God forgive me, and take pity:
“‘Twas me who opened up the walls,
“Of Yankee Stade; and now repaid,
“In utter shame I lay before you,
“To stop this villain, we must hurry,
“Now fly fleetly, I implore you!”

Then with a burst of light,
Out of sight did Jeter blink,
On the path, of Torre’s wrath,
Yankee history on the brink.
And watching from the ground,
Ol’ Donnie found an inner peace,
And the turmoil he had carried,
In that moment, did release.
He had been a hero,
Who had led the Yank attack,
O’er at first, but he’d been cursed,
By an ailing, aching back,
Wounded in the fight ‘gainst sin,
‘Till that day, it did arrive,
When he left the Yanks, retired,
At the end of ‘95.
And his career, did bring him cheer,
But of regrets, he did have one:
That he had not partaken,
In their magic championship run.
And as he watched the holy war,
From seats afar, his heart grew sad,
For he had missed out on the ring,
He had wanted oh so bad.
‘Twas not the piece of jewelry,
But that joy it represents:
To know your works and deeds,
Have shaped the course of life’s events.

A feeling that he felt right then,
A cheer that warmed his heart:
To know now, in that season,
He had played a tiny part.
And there, the elder Captain,
Found the joy that he did seek,
In ‘96, as glistening bliss,
Rolled from his eyes and down his cheeks.

PART THREE: THE ONE
Now tumbling back through time,
Twisted Torre and his liege,
The once heroic Hitman,
Here a monster, Mattingly,
Did surely go, to Chicago,
Upon the 12th of May;
In ‘96, ChiSox and Yanks,
Did play upon that day.

‘Twas on that fateful afternoon,
That Torre first believed,
That goals of Series wins,
Had a chance to be achieved.
For on that fateful afternoon,
Upon that crucial date,
His team did fall behind:
Yankees 0, ChiSox 8.
But rather than give up,
The Yankees chose to stand and fight,
And there in inning four,
A raucous rally did ignite:
The righteous ones, scratched out a run,
As Ruben ran ‘cross home,
And here is where our hero,
Makes his way into this poem.

Now after Fox did double,
Sending Backstop Joe to third,
A young man stepped up to the plate,
And turned his head skyward,
And with angelic calm,
He then did raise a prayer to Heaven,
To ask God to assist him,
With his team still down by seven.
Then with a steely poise,
And a batting eye precise,
This fledging, like our Savior,
Did choose to sacrifice.
And though he was a neophyte,
The Yanks did see a leader:
The man who would be Captain,
Their new Shortstop, Derek Jeter.

A legend for all time, who would combine,
A boyish bliss,
With the spirit of a warrior,
Every time he pumped his fist.
This angel unsurpassed,
Rejecting flash for stylish grace,
Whom men would dub Fair Jeter,
For his most cherubic face.
An angel without equal,
In the ways of bat and glove,
Who wore his pinstripes proudly,
Praising Yahweh up above,
And though he’d self-efface, he took his place,
‘Tween Ruth and Martin,
Number 2, whose legend grew,
with each foe he did dishearten,
And whose love was surely shared,
With lovely ladies everywhere,
But who vowed, by God in Heaven,
His virginity to spare,
Until his wedding day, but back in May,
His rookie year,
The world had caught but glimpses,
Of this storybook career.

Now from a creaky perch,
Atop the new Comiskey Park,
Joe Torre and the Hitman,
Vile villains of the Dark,
Did sit in sheer disgust; Chicago’s gusts,
Did not abate,
As the Yankees capped their comeback,
By a score of 9-8.
Led by Mighty Tino, like the Bambino,
Going yard,
While Paul O’Neill and Raines,
ChiSox pitching, did bombard.
Then Girardi drove in three,
And to the pen the Yankees gave,
A lead, which Mo would hold,
And which John Wetteland then would save.
And seeing this, the devilish,
Joe Torre sneered and snarled,
Then grabbed his evil ally,
With claws withered, worn and gnarled:
“How my blackened soul, as dark as coal,
“Does burn with hate,
“When I watch and when I hear,
“The Yankees cheer and celebrate,
“For long was I fool,
“Who did ally with pinstripe pride,
“’fore I found the force of fear,
“And their feeble God denied.
“And I did play a part, in the start,
“Of this latest streak,
“A dynasty, in the late 90s;
“How it causes me to shriek,
“For it was here, momentum built,
“Then quite a blaze it soon became,
“When Doc Gooden took the mound,
“On Yankee ground, in our next game,
“And though an age-d dolt,
“Whose talent long ago had quit,
“Doc Gooden pitched that game,
“Without giving up a hit.
“How it galls me, and appalls me,
“To think that I did cheer,
“So delighted and excited,
“At our prospects for that year,
“Never knowing that the reasons, for those seasons,
“Were a fraud,
“That no reward would be bestowed,
“By such a lying God,
“And the blood and sweat and tears,
“I surely shed, oh, so misled!
“Now I shall have my vengeance,
“When I strike these Yankees dead!
“And who shall be the first,
“But the Fairest one of all,
“Derek Jeter, sorry sop,
“Shall be the first of them to fall!
“Come my faithful liege, let us lay siege,
“To New York’s Yanks,
“Then unto mighty Satan,
“Shall we give eternal thanks!”

Then racing from the rafters,
Loosing laughter in his glee,
He called to his companion,
“Come and join me, Mattingly!”
But though he still felt spurned,
And surely yearned to curse the Yanks,
Who had deemed to squash his dreams,
Of managing their righteous ranks,
Joe’s murder lust, did still disgust,
Ol’ Number 23,
And in his heart, in no small part,
He still felt sympathy,
For the team who had been family,
For those who’d given him a home,
Who stood there by his side,
And vowed he’d never fight alone.
And there, with much despair,
The humbled Hitman did cry out,
To ask God for forgiveness,
Then with a mighty shout,
Did swoop down with great speed,
His Yanks in need of his assistance,
And catching up to Joe, he stopped his foe,
With fierce resistance.
The demon scratched and clawed,
In utter rage to be betrayed,
And struck at Mattingly,
For the weakness he’d displayed,
For just as Joe’s fell killing blow,
Was ’bout to be unleashed,
Young Jeter Fair, still unaware:
From Reaper’s reach released.

Then calling out below,
Mattingly bid Jeter, “Fly!”
But Fair Jeter, far from fleeing,
Joined the battle in the sky,
And with their might combined,
The once and future Yankee Caps,
Did fight the Satan spawn,
Till it did crumble and collapse,
But ever shrewd, the devil’s brood,
Did escape their wrath divine,
Fleeing then, to some new “when”,
Somewhere further back in time.

Turning then to Mattingly, Derek did see,
The damage done,
For Donnie had been ravaged,
Though the battle had been won.
“Carry me,” the Hitman cried,
“In the balance hangs the fate,
“Of every legend, every epic,
“That past Yankees did create.
“That wicked beast, its hate unleashed,
“Stole the sacred crystal balls,
“God forgive me, and take pity:
“‘Twas me who opened up the walls,
“Of Yankee Stade; and now repaid,
“In utter shame I lay before you,
“To stop this villain, we must hurry,
“Now fly fleetly, I implore you!
“To tame the thief of time,
“You’ll need the might of the Divinity,
“And the power lies, as always,
“Within the holy Trinity.
“Now to that church below, we must go,
“With urgent speed,
“For ’tis there we’ll find The One,
“Who’ll give the help that we both need.”
And heeding Donnie’s words,
Like a bird did Jeter soar,
Falling swiftly in the Southside,
Landing at the church’s door.
And suddenly, he saw its sign,
And did finally gain insight,
‘To Donnie’s words: Trinity Church,
Pastored by the Reverend Wright.

Now through the gates they passed,
To find that mass was underway,
And the people in the pews,
Praised every word that Wright did say:
“I want to share a story,
“About a faith put to the test,
“For anecdotes like these,
“Do serve to teach God’s lesson best.
“The other day, while in LA,
“I met a girl who longed to be,
“An actress, named America,
“And this girl did ask of me:
“‘What would someone say,
“‘If they did take God’s name in vain?’
“They’d say, ‘God damn, America’,
“To her, I did explain.
“‘But why,’ I asked this darling,
“‘Does your mind drift to such things?
“‘To break such a Commandment,
“‘Only dark temptation brings.’
“In reply, the girl did cry,
“And then she suddenly exclaimed:
“‘A tragedy has struck,
“‘And it is God that I do blame!’
“Now her family, the Ferreras,
“Do own a livestock farm,
“And according to this girl,
“They had just suffered a great harm:
“Their chickens, counted on,
“To lay the eggs that they do sell,
“Had run away, the other day,
“And their loss, it did impel,
“That little girl, to grow enraged,
“And to forsake the loving Lord,
“But as I told her: Just have faith,
“And that trust He will reward.
“That is a message for us all:
“That when things don’t go our way,
“Give greater thanks to God,
“And that love he will repay.
“So pray for those poor farmers,
“They whose chickens flew their coops,
“For we hope that America’s chickens,
“Are comin’ home to roost.”

“Hallelujah!” hailed the chorus,
As the congregants did rise,
Singing psalms to the Hereafter,
Unto the rafters rose their cries.
And in the midst of all this bliss,
The young Fair Jeter glimpsed the gaze,
Of a serene and smiling Seraph,
His head encircled by the haze,
Of a halo hewn in Heaven,
And its glow did nearly blind,
Our hero and the Hitman,
Who had sought and now did find,
The angel who’d been chosen,
To lead the Lord’s beloved flock,
To times of peace that would not cease:
The One known as Barack.
And as he saw the Yankees,
He did shout a loud “Amen!”,
Then rose with urgency,
As to a call at 3AM.
“Come, we’ve not much time,
“If our side shall win this war!
“Come we are the ones,
“That we’ve been waiting for!”

At his command, with Don in hand,
Derek followed close behind,
This Prez-to-be, of precedent,
Who would one day lead mankind.
“The devil’s deadly daemon,
“Travels back through time and space,
“And if success doth grace its quest,
“Then Yankee lore it shall erase.
“It’s up to you, Fair Jeter,
“Now to deter, Satan’s fiend,
“You’ve been chosen, to oppose him,
“From the Maker, this I’ve gleaned.
“Now you are but a youngling,
“And the demon very strong,
“But I will grant you strength,
“So you may right this wretched wrong.
“I’ll give you power to prevent,
“The coming of this raging storm;
“I only hope, I’ve magic left,
“To pass health care reform.”

But Jeter, though courageous,
Did surely doubt that he was able,
As a rookie, to take on,
The task and wear the hero’s label.
And so he asked, uncertain,
“Can we stop the devil’s plan?”
“Well, uh,” said Obama,
“With His guidance, yes we can!”
“Never doubt the Lord,
“Even when the path grows dark;
“‘Tis the audacity of hope,
“That gives our lives the fiery spark,
“That lights the way to happiness,
“And offers dreams to those grieve,
“That fills our hearts with promise:
“Change in which we can believe.”

“Now flap your wings, Fair Jeter,
“Chosen warrior, do take flight!
“Save us all, from Satan’s thrall,
“And win this crucial fight!
“Leave the fallen here,
“To Mattingly, I will attend,
“I’ll lay my hands upon him,
“And his war wounds shall I mend.”

Then with a burst of light,
Out of sight did Jeter blink,
On the path, of Torre’s wrath,
Yankee history on the brink.
And watching from the ground,
Ol’ Donnie found an inner peace,
And the turmoil he had carried,
In that moment, did release.
He had been a hero,
Who had led the Yank attack,
O’er at first, but he’d been cursed,
By an ailing, aching back,
Wounded in the fight ‘gainst sin,
‘Till that day, it did arrive,
When he left the Yanks, retired,
At the end of ‘95.
And his career, did bring him cheer,
But of regrets, he did have one:
That he had not partaken,
In their magic championship run.
And as he watched the holy war,
From seats afar, his heart grew sad,
For he had missed out on the ring,
He had wanted oh so bad.
‘Twas not the piece of jewelry,
But that joy it represents:
To know your works and deeds,
Have shaped the course of life’s events.

A feeling that he felt right then,
A cheer that warmed his heart:
To know now, in that season,
He had played a tiny part.
And there, the elder Captain,
Found the joy that he did seek,
In ‘96, as glistening bliss,
Rolled from his eyes and down his cheeks.

PART TWO: THE ARTFUL DODGER
Now since those early days,
When rounded bat first met round ball,
When smiling boys of summer,
Turned to legends of the fall,
When fans in stands first held their breath,
Before the final score,
Many legends have been penned,
Enshrined in Yankee lore:
From the Iron Horse, and Babe, of course,
To the Mick and Joltin’ Joe,
From the great Yogi, to Reggie’s three,
To Roger’s homerun show.
From Gator’s K’s to perfect days,
For Larsen, Wells, and Cone:
When it comes to baseball grandeur,
New York’s Yankees stand alone.

And counted with the greats,
There was the angel known as Joe,
Whose constant stoic gaze,
A sense of calm, it did bestow,
Upon the team he managed,
Upon the Yankee squads he led,
And from his fearsome forces,
Frequent fiendish foes had fled.
For many years, the fans did cheer,
“In Torre, do we trust,
“A hero for the ages,
“He is merciful and just!
“We listen to the wisdom,
“That does fall forth from his lips,
“And we know that he will lead us,
“To unending championships!”
Now for a while, as was his style,
Wise Torre would ignore,
The hymns of praise, that marked the days,
The Yankees would outscore,
The other team in battle,
‘Pon the diamond field of play;
For as a modest angel,
It seemed the right and God-like way.

But several times, wise Joe would find,
That much to his surprise,
Such songs of hero worship,
Caused his inner pride to rise.
And though he stayed devoted,
To the service of his Lord,
He learned he liked the love,
That came with carrying His sword.
And slowly, such assertions,
Of his heart and bravery,
Did build within great Torre,
And erode his modesty,
And change that saintly angel,
Ever slightly, day by day,
Until his giving manner,
Did to selfishness give way.
No longer was a win o’er sin,
A triumph for the team,
A win was merely fodder,
For a swelling self-esteem,
And gone was any honor,
Found in wearing God’s halo,
Replaced by adulation,
At an altar built to Joe.

Then suddenly, sustained glory,
Gave way to seeds of strife,
As Series wins, did then begin,
To wane from Torre’s life,
And hymns of praise, did swiftly fade,
Replaced by hissing sounds,
As Yankee teams, with Canyon dreams,
Did flounder in first rounds.
“We want him gone,” the people cried,
“For he has lost his touch!
“Seven years without a crown,
“Is seven years too much!
“Twenty-six World Championships,
“Were won in praise of Heaven,
“How much longer must we wait,
“For number twenty-seven?
“For seven years, he’s failed to bring,
“The ring that we’ve desired,
“The choice is clear, before next year,
“Joe Torre must be fired!”

His pride aroused, by thoughts espoused,
By bleacher creature folk,
A vicious rage, unlatched its cage,
And in this angel woke.
He then took flight, in darkest night,
To take from those he served,
The glory that Joe Torre,
Truly felt that that he deserved.
Flapping feather wings,
With a white-hot frenzied fire,
Spurned to speed with urgent need,
To unleash a raving ire,
‘Pon the Boss and GM Cash,
If their response did not appease,
The greed and egotism,
That had spread like a disease,
Within this fallen angel,
Who had tumbled from the heights,
Believing hype he had received,
Aggrieved by perceived slights.

Now soaring past facades, and promenades,
He reached the peak,
Of the storied Yankee Stade,
And did find those he did seek.
With power lust, the Yank brain trust,
And brass he did beseech:
More contract years, to quell his fears,
And like a lowly leech,
He got down on his knees, and made his pleas,
For higher fees,
A raise, deserv-ed praise,
For what he’d done with these Yankees.

‘Pon hearing this, Joe’s selfish wish,
Young Cash began to stand,
But George the Boss, now looking cross,
Did rise and take command:
“It saddens me, oh Joe Torre,
“To hear such avarice,
“From the one I’d deemed a warrior,
“For his utter selflessness.
“No true Yankee is Joe Torre,
“If wealth is your desire,
“Such vile thoughts are conjured up,
“In Satan’s pit of fire.
“For love of God, our path is trod,
“To praise His Holy Name,
“No more, no less; our happiness,
“Lies not in wealth and fame.
“And if the Lord, is not reward,
“Enough to please your soul,
“We’ll cast you out, from this high mount,
“Down into Satan’s hole!”

Then in reply, a ghastly cry,
As fire did erupt,
From within Joe’s heart of sin,
Now withered and corrupt.
And out into the night,
This flaming fiend did fly away,
Promising revenge,
Vowing George, he would repay.
And as the fire burned away,
A face that had been wise,
And a viscous vicious red,
Did enter into Torre’s eyes,
As the wings, once so angelic,
Became a demon’s sickly spans,
All good was purged, as claws emerged,
From each of Torre’s hands.
Then down he flew, as hatred grew,
Within this blistered beast,
To Satan’s lair, to plan with care,
The wrath he would unleash.

Now back in baseball’s bastion,
Joe’s betrayal did bring tears,
From the New York Yankee players,
Who had loved him through the years.
But though he played the part,
Within the heart of one great Yank,
Thoughts turned to promotions,
And a hoped-for rise in rank:
Sage 23, Don Mattingly,
A halo who could hit,
A leader in the 80s,
Known for hustle and for grit,
Had often heard, his name proffered,
To one day follow Joe,
As Yankee skip, head of the ship,
That Godly gales did blow.
And so, though he did cry,
This did belie a fervent wish,
That George would name him manager,
And ‘pon him, praise lavish.

But much to his dismay, upon that day,
The Boss did choose,
Not Mattingly, but Girardi,
Which Don, this did confuse:
Was he not the chosen one,
Picked to one day lead,
The team for which he’d vowed to fight,
For whom he’d pledged to bleed?
And suddenly, just like Torre,
A rage then did arise,
Within ol’ Donnie Baseball,
Much to Lucifer’s surprise.
Soon Satan sent out Torre,
Evil minion, newly-minted,
With a plot, that he had crafted,
And which Torre then presented:
Now after Joe, became a foe,
Of pinstriped paladins,
His ability, to gain entry,
To the land devoid of sins,
The hallowed House of Ruth,
Eternal truth, enshrined inside,
Was taken from fell Torre,
Whom the Maker, he’d defied.
But Mattingly’s animosities,
Were not yet to the fore,
And he could still unlock,
The Yankee Kingdom’s divine door.
In brotherhood, the wicked stood,
As Don turned from the Lord,
And the two of them, to cause mayhem,
Did creep to where was stored,
The sacred secret source,
That did make the Yanks unique:
Two glowing crystal balls,
Known as Aura and Mystique.
Bestowed by God, to his saintly squad,
To grant them pious power,
Stolen now, by Satan’s slaves,
At this dismal, darkened hour. 

Then feeling force undreamt of,
Surging through his vile veins,
This thief, this Artful Dodger,
Sought to inflict further pains,
‘pon the Yankees and their faithful,
With a most audacious crime,
By going back and changing,
Yankee moments throughout time.
With noxious glee, did Joe Torre,
The legends, seek to fix,
Beginning with the start of his,
In 1996.

For those of you who have never read one of these before, here’s the deal: After the Mets lost to the Yankees in the 2000 Subway Series, I decided quite simply that if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Why spend every frustrating October rooting against the greatest team in baseball when I can very easily root for them and share in their baseball majesty? They are a New York team, after all! Sadly, it appears my bad luck has carried over, as the Yankees have not won a single World Series ever since. But we’re gonna keep trying, folks! So, as I do just about every year at this time, I’ve written an epic poem of biblical proportions in praise of my beloved Yankees.

And now, without further ado, I present to you Part I of this year’s exciting edition of Yankee Tales:

THE CAPTAIN: A YANKEE TALE IN FIVE PARTS

PART ONE: IN THE BEGINNING
And lo! it hath been written,
Within Scripture’s sacred pages,
Handed down from ages past,
By prophets, holy men and sages,
That at the dawn of time,
From a wholly empty state,
The heavens and the earth,
The one true God did then create.
And from the void of darkness,
Did the Lord bring forth the light;
The light became the Day,
And the darkness He called Night.
Pronouncing this as good,
His mighty hand then quelled the seas,
And upon the new dry land,
He did call forth the grass and trees.
And o’er the ground and water,
He placed the stars amongst the sky,
Then filled the land with creatures,
To go forth and multiply.
Then finally, His Divinity,
Did grace us with His love,
As the multitude of angels,
Did gaze in awe from up above.
And there upon the earth,
In His own image did He make,
Man to till the land,
And o’er the beasts, dominion take,
Man to tame the clouds,
Man to reach the ocean floor,
Man, whom God would cherish,
And above all things adore.
Then with his work thus finished,
He took the seventh day to rest,
To gaze upon the beauty,
Of the world that He had blessed.
But little has been written,
Of the day that followed next;
The eighth day is omitted,
From the Bible’s sacred text.
And yet that lazy Monday,
Still has meaning for us all,
For on day number eight,
God did bequeath to us baseball.

Returning to the Kingdom,
God did greet His Seraphim,
Who sang a prayer of praise,
To the mighty Elohim,
And since their love was true,
And since the Lord, they did revere,
The Lord did grant each servant,
Their own earthly souvenir.
Timber from a sturdy oak,
He gave to Gabriel,
And rocks from mountains high,
Were a gift to Raphael.
To Michael, the Archangel,
Leather gloves, He did bestow,
And reams of finest cloth,
Did cause fair Uriel to glow.

Now Raphael, then felt a swell,
Of boundless joy and glee,
And sought to share his present,
With the other angels three,
And calling out, a booming shout,
He threw his rock up high,
And seeing this, in utter bliss,
Did Michael start to fly,
And in his leather glove,
He snared the stone out of its flight,
And Gabriel, and Uriel,
Did laugh in pure delight.
“To me!” Gabriel exclaimed,
And grabbed his oaken branch,
And bent his knees and elbows:
An angelic batting stance.
And Michael, winding up,
Did toss the rock with all his force,
And sent a flaming fastball,
On its soaring, searing course,
And as the rock connected,
With the swiftly swinging oak,
It caused a thunderclap,
That simple words cannot evoke.
And seeing this, the Lord did grin,
A smile soft and warm,
At the merry, playful game,
That was beginning to take form.
And with a hearty wave,
And with a twinkle in his eyes,
God did cause a playing field,
And Stadium to rise.
Bases, first through third,
A pitching mound, a plate for home,
And yards of outfield grass,
Upon which angel wings could roam.
Then cherubim, most all of them,
Did in this rapture share,
And Uriel, did craft them all,
Some uniforms to wear.
And there upon the diamond,
In the Lord’s most Holy Name,
Did the angels play nine innings,
Of the Lord’s most perfect game.
And as God watched His angels,
There was a tug upon His sleeve,
The Son, the one called Jesus,
Come to ask his Dad to leave.
For in his tiny hand,
He held a ball and leather glove,
And he longed to toss the ball,
To the One who taught him love.
So, ‘pon Elysian Fields,
They did find an empty patch,
And there in Elysium:
The first Father and Son catch.

Now for a time, this most sublime,
Of sports there did abide,
Inside the walls of Heaven,
Where the holy hosts reside.
And down on earth, Man proved his worth,
And brought his God delight,
And gave much praise and worship,
To the Holy God of Might.
And seeing His creation,
The angels felt a surge of love,
And sought to grant a gift,
Sent from Paradise above.
Then Seraphim, who shared this dream,
Did go before their Lord,
With this request, that the Most Blessed,
Would grant them His accord:
“Because we care, we wish to share,
“This game we love to play,
“To grant baseball, to one and all,
“Upon this blessed day.”
And seeing their compassion,
The Holy Lord did then accede,
And sent these angels down to earth,
While wishing them Godspeed.
Like Moses from the mountain,
Bringing forth Commandments Ten,
This team of God’s most faithful,
Did bring forth the first bullpen,
And outfield walls, and strike three calls,
And balks and pitches wild,
Homeruns that drew wondrous gasps,
And curveballs that beguiled.

And though they called earth home,
These angels held the memory,
Of Heaven’s Gate, the pristine state,
Of God’s Eternal See,
And so they settled down,
Upon Manhattan’s Highest Lands,
To stay close to their Maker,
He who made them with His hands,
In Hilltop Park, this glowing spark,
Blazed with praise and “glory be”s:
These angels of the High Lands,
Would become the first Yankees.

     It has become something of a cliché in recent days to invoke Ayn Rand’s magnum opus, Atlas Shrugged, when discussing the current turmoil afflicting the nation. The parallels between fact and fiction are unavoidable, however: As the United States of Rand’s novel descends steadily into a morass of economic despair, its government intrudes further and further into the affairs of the private sector, assigning itself ever-increasing power and authority. The regulations that are passed as a result of this government intervention, each ostensibly in the name of “fairness” and “equality”, serve only to snuff out the remaining flickers of personal initiative and undermine the very corporate leaders with the capability to reverse the nation’s plight. It is not until the emergence of the charismatic and enigmatic John Galt, Rand’s living embodiment of free market capitalism, that the oppressed and vilified are offered hope: At his urging, they withdraw from society, allowing the socialist playground created by the political establishment and the “intelligentsia” to collapse under its own weight.

     While it might not yet be time for the nation’s business leaders to retreat to a hidden valley in parts unknown, the need for action and leadership grows more urgent by the day. With the removal of General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner at the “behest” of the Obama Administration, the boundaries separating the public and private sectors continue to crumble, opening the doorway for a troubling reimagining of the government’s role in the business world.

     Make no mistake: It was the Bush Administration that put the initial cracks in the citadel walls with its bailouts of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG and the auto industry, as well as its passage of the $700 bllion  TARP plan. The siege, however, has intensified to levels thought unthinkable only a short time ago, spearheaded by President Obama and his Treasury Secretary, Timothy Geithner, and supported by Democratic leaders Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Barney Frank. They have appropriated the current economic downturn, and the accompanying fear of the American public, and attempted to use the ever-increasing panic to push through a radical liberal agenda, one that includes nationalized health care, cap-and-trade environmental restrictions and a drastic increase in the government’s role in education. Such plans, it has been made clear, would be funded by an increase in taxes on the “rich”, a punitive confiscation of wealth from the top 5% of earners in this country.

     As the crisis has worsened, and as public discontent has grown, the Obama Administration has fanned the flames even further by encouraging a populist revolt against the corporate world. The AIG bonus scandal was a disgraceful sham on the part of the President and Congress: Despite the fact that Secretary Geithner was aware of AIG’S intentions well in advance, and despite Democratic Senator Chris Dodd’s admission that the Treasury Department had insisted on inserting a loophole into the stimulus bill allowing for the bonuses, shock and anger were feigned all around. AIG CEO Ed Liddy, installed after the insurance’s firm’s downturn last year, was paraded in front of Congress for a show trial, during which he was given a stern rebuke by the very men who had voted in favor of the controversial payments in question. The House doubled-down on its hypocrisy by passing legislation to tax the bonuses at a 90% rate, retroactively attempting to recoup that which it had permitted.

     In the days that followed, the Obama Administration continued its assault: Congressional committees were held to discuss limiting employee compensation, while Secretary Geithner laid out a plan which would allow the federal government to exert increased influence over non-banking institutions. Most notably, the proposed initiative would allow the government to take control of companies which it deemed a “systemic” risk to the economy.

     And then on Sunday came word that the head of the troubled General Motors Corporation, Rick Wagoner, had been removed. The Obama Administration, upset with the progress the company had made since its initial bailout least year, demanded that the CEO be let go before it would consider providing additional funds. Wagoner stepped down immediately.

    As the federal government crosses the imaginary line from impartial regulator, seeking to uphold the rule of law and protect private property, to authoritarian decision-maker, choosing executives and determining “appropriate” levels of compensation, the comparisons with Atlas Shrugged are hard to ignore. As Rand’s novel progresses, we watch with a mixture of amusement and anger as the story’s politicians continually undercut the very businessmen whose help they need the most. As the country’s infrastructure destabilizes to the point of collapse, two of the book’s protagonists, Dagny Taggart and Hank Rearden, offer the nation its last glimmers of economic hope, Dagny with her successful management of the Taggart Transcontinental Rail Line and Rearden with the invention of Rearden Metal, an alloy that is stronger than steel  and cheaper to produce. Rather than embracing the accomplishments of these corporate leaders, the government attempts to punish them, placing crushing restrictions on Dagny’s rail lines and forcing Rearden to release his formula to the public. Inevitably, the intervention of the government pushes each of these businesses to the brink of ruin, further degrading the domestic economy.  Blind to their own hypocrisy, the very same political leaders who have nearly destroyed Dagny and Rearden then turn to them for help in fixing the nation’s problems.

     It is into a similar quagmire that the current Administration is slowly dragging the real-life America of today, led by the ideologies of the President himself. It is crucial to consider Obama’s biography when examining his leadership during this crisis, for it offers insight into the course on which he is steering the country. The majority of his adult life has been spent advocating on behalf of the poor, first as a community organizer and then as an Illinois state senator. His economic philosophy has clearly been defined by those experiences: he is an admitted proponent of the “bottom-up” theory of growth, one which views prosperity as being generated from the lower and middle, rather than upper, classes. Not only does Obama refute the notion that it is the rich who produce wealth, he seems to harbor a resentment of them. This simmering disgust was on display during his recent interview with Steve Kroft of 60 Minutes, during which he repeatedly giggled when talking about corporate failure and spoke in mocking tones when referring to the “best and brightest” on Wall Street. This is a man who long ago bought into the notion that the rich, through unrestrained greed, have stolen wealth from the poor and callously left them to suffer in misery. His recent statements and policy proposals indicate a determination on his part to correct this perceived wrong through a plan of government intervention and economic redistribution.

     And yet by pursuing such a course of action now, during a recession, while at the same time encouraging a public distrust in business, Obama is every bit as blind and misguided as the cartoon-like politicians of Atlas Shrugged. Look at the astoundingly contradictory message his Administration has delivered to the business world within the first two months of his time in Office: We will tax you directly to pay for the nation’s health care. We will restrict your ability to grow by limiting your emissions. We will tell you how much your executives will make, and if we change our minds after the fact, we will take what we deem appropriate. We will parade your CEOs in front of a national audience and embarrass them, and if we disagree with their actions we will fire them. And if all else fails, we will take over your company and do as we see fit. You are gluttonous, you are reckless and you must held accountable for your avarice.

     Now fix this mess.

     How can Obama, in one soaring, Telepompter-induced speech after another, promise to restore our economy to its previous levels of success while at the same time doing everything possible to handcuff the very companies he will need to accomplish such a goal? How can our President expect prosperity when every action he has taken has served to fuel increasing levels of uncertainty? Do none of his vaunted advisors understand that putting undue pressure on our nation’s corporations will only serve to push them elsewhere, thus driving us further into our current predicament?

     Look again at the examples of AIG and GM. As CEO Liddy explained during his testimony, the bonuses paid to the company’s employees were not performance bonuses; they were retention bonuses, incentives designed to prevent a mass exodus as the company wound down its financial products division. More importantly, the government was informed of these bonuses late last year and signed off on them, going so far as to create a loophole in federal legislation so as to ensure their payment. Immediately upon sensing public unrest, the government changed course, condemned the company, pilloried those who had received a bonus, and demanded that they return money that they had earned while working under a legal contract. What business will ever feel confident in this country if it believes that the government can intrude into its affairs and break binding agreements? That it can retroactively tax money it feels was not appropriate? Clearly, AIG is not blameless in the current financial mess, and yes, it must expect to alter its business operations while receiving bailout funds. But what is to stop the government in the future, once a precedent has been established today, from waging war against companies which are deemed “harmful” to its ever-changing prerogatives? What would stop the Barney Franks of the world from confiscating “excessive” compensation from oil executives, or tobacco company executives?

     GM also suffered a betrayal by acquiescing to the demands of the federal government. What no one on the left will admit is that it is liberal policy which has crippled General Motors, as well as Chrysler and Ford. Under the weight of its commitments to the United Auto Workers, compensation packages which bring the hourly rate of a union worker to nearly $70 an hour, the Big Three have been unable to compete with foreign companies. It is the Democrats, led by Obama, Pelosi and Reid, who have emboldened the unions, leading to such oppressive contracts as those with the UAW. It is also the Democrats who have forced the Big Three to comply with CAFE standards, seeking to improve fuel efficiency by compelling these companies to build smaller, more dangerous cars that consumers do not want to buy. It is as a result of these obligations that the Big Three have been forced to alter their business models, pushed into a corner where no company can hope to succeed. And now they are eviscerated for failing to improve by the very government officials who have contributed to their downfall. Why would any company trust the government to provide room for success, when those in control are pushing an agenda that runs counter to growth? Why would such companies remain in this country, subjugated to oppressive standards and regulations, when they could flee to China or India?

      And by the same line of reasoning, why would the rich that Obama has targeted remain here as their government absconds with more and more of their hard-won earnings? The supreme lesson of the Reagan Administration is that liberalism’s bottom-up economy is fatally flawed. The laborers and blue-collar workers of this country, the construction workers, the janitors, the electricians and the plumbers, are all vital components of our country, but in the end, they work as a result of the magnanimity of the upper classes. They work because one of those wealthy individuals that Obama seeks to punish decided to open up a business. Or grow a business. Or enjoy the fruits of his labor by building a home. It will not be the blue collar workers of the nation who will pull us out of this recession. That is the responsibility of the CEOs, the entrepreneurs, the small business owners, the capitalists: they are the ones who drive our economy. And it is only by providing a stable business environment, one that is less burdensome rather than wildly unpredictable and authoritarian, that they will have any chance of succeeding.

      If we are to preserve our role as the world’s leading economic power, we must hope that this is a lesson that President Obama learns very quickly.

Although, as a conservative, I’m inclined to believe that much of the current economic crisis is the result of Democratic politicians forcing banks to provide loans to those who would not be able to pay them back, I’m not so ideological as to believe that the Republicans had no role. This was clearly a bipartisan effort, and while notions of social justice were surely a factor, the Republicans controlled Congress for much of the Bush Administration and should have pushed harder to stem the tide that these bad policies had unleashed upon the market. Today, my brother offers his thoughts on how a lack of regulation contributed to the current economic crisis:

 

The best way I can answer this is by pointing you to this video:

 

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/10/05/60minutes/main4502454.shtml

 

It provides a great overview of the mess we are in, and perhaps the best part is in its layman terms description of why the deregulated CDS market has been so pivotal in creating this disaster.

 

Me, personally, I am usually inclined to support deregulation and making markets as free and hands-off as possible. I like to believe that the forces of supply and demand can do an infinitely better job of controlling the flow of goods and services in the best interest of the most people. For the most part, supply and demand does this better than government ever could. Even though it is not under the umbrella of regulation, you can see this in capitalist economies by looking no further than the number of companies/industries that have been privatized over the years and have performed far more efficiently after the switch. The market participants know business better than government ever could. And yet, this is exactly why deregulation may be needed.

 

A lack of regulation has created enormous problems for the economy. Again, I will defer to the 60 Minutes piece, as it basically says everything I was planning on discussing. At the end of the day–and I realize this argument may sound simplistic–I genuinely believe that people are simply too damn smart, and the broader investing public too damn ignorant. If you leave these financial professionals and engineers to themselves, they are going to create admittedly brilliant financial products, but ones that are potentially destructive. Collateralized debt obligations (CDOs) are an excellent example of this. If you read up on how these products are created, and how they allocate risk, the ingenuity is amazing. These types of securities, if backed by higher-quality assets, would be touted as revolutionary (in fact, they pretty much were considered such until recently). The problem, in this case, is that they combined this great innovation with a crappy product, and out of shortsightedness and greed, sold it to an unsuspecting body of consumers across the entire spectrum from large companies to individuals. The public, in turn, simply believed they were getting a great return on a safe product (frequently rated AAA by the rating agencies), made possible by the wonders of financial innovation.

 

I just don’t think it is realistic to expect the purchasers of such products to truly understand these types of products. The degree of sophistication is extremely high, and even relatively intelligent people like you and I would have trouble understanding the true degree of risk they possessed. I know we buy products (microwaves, cars, etc.) that we don’t truly understand all the time, but this is clearly different–in this day and age, where nearly everyone’s life savings are in the form of investments, you simply cannot allow such a massively popular yet massively complicated investment product to go unmonitored.

 

At each step of the way along this crisis, it is obvious that some form of regulation could have helped. Even the slightest degree of scrutiny over the banks’ mortgage lending practices would have made it apparent that the loans were doomed from the beginning. It is borderline criminal that ratings agencies, who are supposed to utilize all sorts of complex financial models and methods to assess the riskiness of investments, willingly slapped on AAA ratings to the mortgage-backed securities. You have a huge CDS market wherein people are told that they can hedge any perceived riskiness in these products through an insurance product, and meanwhile the insurers don’t even have the capital necessary to pay out in the case of a massive default scenario. To allow all of this to go on unfettered, when it is going on on such a massive scale, involving the life savings of individuals incapable of properly assessing risk, just doesn’t sit well with me.

 

This current crisis is just one example. There are countless numbers of ways through which anyone with enough money can manipulate the financial markets to their own benefit. In my opinion, laissez-faire capitalism simply cannot be applied successfully to financial markets, especially one dominated by the presence of a handful of gigantic participants as in the case of the US (courtesy, in part, to Glass Steagall).

 

Unfortunately, the biggest problem with regulation is that it ultimately comes down to how well the government executes it, and that is usually quite poorly. It is all too easy for these regulatory bodies to either waste massive amounts of taxpayer dollars or to simply end up aligning themselves with the very companies they are designed to regulate. However, financial professionals are simply too clever and too greedy to be left entirely unwatched, and they wreak their havoc with borrowed money. I realize that even with strict regulation in place, they will inevitably find loopholes and ways to still make a quick profit at other people’s expense. Still, that’s no justification to just sit idly by. Regulation has to be a continual process, constantly evolving to new innovations in the financial realm. How such regulation can be structured in such a way that it is effective in protecting people’s interests without overly inhibiting business, is admittedly beyond the scope of my knowledge.

From my brother, a financial analyst and all-around brilliant guy:

In my opinion, what they should have done from the first place is force the banks to hold on to the bad assets, and instead of buying those assets, the Fed should have simply invested in the companies. Determine which banks are completely screwed, and let them fail. Take the rest of the banks, and give them capital in return for preferred equity with attractive terms (i.e. something like a 10% dividend, and the ability to convert the preferred stock into common stock).

Preferred stock is similar to common stock, except it has priority ahead of common stock. Typically, preferred stock pays a fixed dividend (unlike common stock, where the company can choose if it even wants to pay a dividend at all). In most cases, a company can defer a preferred dividend to a later period, but they still have to pay it eventually. Whatever they don’t pay accumulates over time, and no common stock dividend can be paid out until the preferred stock gets paid what is owed to them.

 

Also, in the case of a bankruptcy, the preferred stockholders have the right to claim any assets, etc. prior to the common stockholders. However, preferred stock still falls below debt on the priority chain. Debt > preferred stock > common stock in the case of a bankruptcy.

 

This works for the banks (at least the good ones that deserve to survive), the economy, and the taxpayers. With the current approach of just buying the assets, the real winners are basically all banks (they get money to get rid of their worst assets) and all of their debt/equityholders of those banks (people who willingly invested in the company, knowing the risks inherent to such a business, and who should be the ones facing the repercussions!!). Basically, the government gives them money for crap assets (and likely overpays for them), and when/if those banks recover, and the stock does better, the banks and their stockholders benefit, while taxpayers are left to hope and pray that these terrible assets end up providing a nice return… which is unlikely. Thus the taxpayers get screwed, and it’s also not even clear that this will help the economy. There are many out there saying that $700B won’t be nearly enough.

 

With the approach of recapitalizing the banks by investing in them, the good banks, the ones owning the least amount of these mortgage-backed securities, will instantly receive an inflow of capital. No waiting around for the gov. to determine how much to pay for the assets, etc. This infusion of liquidity will allow banks to immediately resume borrowing and lending, getting the credit markets moving ASAP, which is above all else the single most important problem that must be addressed. By investing in the good banks, the government stands to benefit substantially once the banks turn the corner and return to profitability. This money can be passed along to taxpayers. Once the taxpayers are paid back (of course, this assumes the gov. is competent and ethical enough to actually return the money to taxpayers), the gov. can sell down its investment in the company slowly over time–I’m not looking to nationalize our entire banking/insurance industries. Sweden took this approach in the 90s and had great success with it.

 

Fortunately, I was reading an article about the bailout bill that said that it DID grant the government the ability to recapitalize these banks in the ways I just described. However, it’s unclear just to what extent they will actually use that approach as opposed to simply buying the debt, which as of right now is still the main approach being pursued.

 

Also, to describe this situation far better than I could, and some of the key issues, check these articles out. Roubini is an NYU Professor who, although noted for being quite a pessimist, has been pretty much on point about this whole crisis. People will call him a bit of an extremist, but he is certainly looking to be the better prognosticator at the moment than those naysayers. Like I said, don’t completely buy in to his doom and gloom, but do realize that the issues he is focusing on (esp. regarding the corporate debt markets) are absolutely critical right now. The big issue is that even though companies may have GREAT long-term growth prospects, in the short-term, many of these companies literally depend upon short-term borrowing to finance their day-to-day operations. Right now, these companies simply cannot borrow that money with the way the credit markets are now. This CANNOT last for more than a very short period of time, or these companies will be screwed once their recent batch of debt expires and they need to roll it over.

 

http://www.rgemonitor.com/roubini-monitor/253853/financial_and_corporate_system_is_in_cardiac_arrest_the_risk_of_the_mother_of_all_bank_runs

http://www.rgemonitor.com/roubini-monitor/253907/the_fed_keeps_on_wasting_time_while_the_mother_of_all_bank_runs_is_underway

 

Also, I like some of his suggestions, but am not a strict adherent to any of them. I really think the sky is the limit, and I won’t pretend to know what the solution is. The government needs to think outside the box and take unprecedented steps, or I really do think the panic/irrationality that has taken hold, both in the financial markets and the credit markets, could potentially lead to a catastrophic collapse. This is exactly what happened to my company, and there is literally no reason why the same can’t happen to the national, or even global, economy. 

What is mark-to-market and what impact has it had on the current crisis? 

Mark-to-market just means that on a company’s balance sheet, the assets/liabilities are recorded at their fair market value (literally, what they would be worth if you tried to buy or sell them in the market). Thus, the values of the assets/liabilities, as they are reported on the balance sheet, are updated over time as the price they fetch in the marketplace changes. This is in contrast to recording an asset/liability at book value. Recording an asset at book value typically means that the value you attribute to it on the balance sheet is the price you paid when you bought it, adjusted for different accounting conventions that try to adjust that value for the fact that the value of most things degrades over time (cars break down, buildings need renovation, etc.) Book value is used for things like property and buildings because it is hard to determine what these things are really worth in the market. People see different value in the same piece of property, and property is rarely traded. Financial assets, on the other hand, are far more abundant and traded constantly, so you can simply just look at the last price they were bought/sold for, and there’s your market value.

 

The issue with mark-to-market is as follows. Typically, mark-to-market is touted as being much better for financial assets than book value (or any other option). This is because, in theory, the market price is the best reflection of what an asset is worth, which is basically true. However, now the prices of these mortgage backed securities are plummeting, and at least some of that is because there is no liquidity in the market (no one wants to trade in that market for them, so prices are sinking). So the question now is–is the current market price -really- what the asset is worth? Or is its price being pushed artificially lower because of the -temporary- lack of liquidity in the market. People will argue that, in fact, mark-to-market should not be used in the case of illiquid (= thinly trading) securities, because the fundamental value of the securities is higher than what they are selling for. However, not everyone buys this argument (for instance, if this were the case, then that would mean that anyone with enough money and a long enough investing time horizon would be jumping at the opportunity to buy these supposedly undervalued assets and make a killing… but this clearly is NOT happening). So basically, is the current market price an actual reflection of the fundamental value of the asset, or is it artificially low because of the lack of liquidity in the market?

 

The reason mark-to-market has been disastrous is because of the impact it has on the balance sheet. This is a bit of an oversimplification, but what is happening is this: the market value of the mortgage backed securities is plummeting, and so these companies are being forced to continually write down the value of their assets to reflect the most recent market prices. This is throwing the ratio of assets:liabilities completely out of whack. For example, suppose I have $10 billion dollars in mortgage backed securities that is being supported by $10 billion in debt (1:1 assets:liabilities). Now, all of a sudden, the market thinks (and probably rightfully so) that the mortgages backing these securities are crap and so the securities are really only worth $5 billion. Now, my balance sheet, under mark-to-market, will show that I have 2x as many liabilities as I do assets. This does two things: first, it spooks stockholders. Second, and more importantly, it leads to debt defaults. Typically, debt contracts are written so that the company who is borrowing the money must maintain certain ratios (say, assets:liabilities must be 1:1). The contracts typically state that if that ratio is not sustained, then the company can be considered to be in default of their agreement, and be forced to pay back the debt ASAP. But now, their assets are worth basically nothing, and most of these companies have little cash on their balance sheets. They can sell their assets, but they’d get pennies in return. So they can’t repay the debt are forced to default, potentially even leading to bankruptcy. 

 

The following is a recent exchange between myself and my good friend (and Obama supporter) Martin, regarding last Thursday’s debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden. The comments in italics are Martin’s, the responses are mine. To be fair, Martin made his remarks within the constraints of Facebook wall posts while I spent an entire Sunday constructing my retort:

1. Re: Bush-McCain. Facts matter. Voting records matter. Given how unfortunate it is to be a Republican now, the basic political situation is such that if you’re from the same party that’s been in power for the past eight years, and YOU are attempting to claim ownership of the change mantle, America has every right to ask: Change from what? And how exactly? One of Biden’s strongest moments last night was the whole, “you haven’t shown me how you’re going to be different” litany. Palin would’ve done herself, and McCain, a much greater service by answering that question. Are they really so different in their policy proposals, or in their records? You suggest as much, Scott. Then why not show how? And I think the simple answer is that she wasn’t prepared to do so. Or capable yet.

 

The twin arguments upon which Obama and Biden have based their campaign are as follows: 1) John McCain is a dogmatic Republican who will continue the failed policies of George W. Bush that have ruined our nation and 2) Barack Obama is an agent of change who will bring hope back to the American people through a bipartisan effort of reform. To drive home the former, Obama and Biden frequently cite a statistic that notes that John McCain votes with George Bush 95% of the time. This is a half-truth: while McCain did vote with the President 95% of the time in ’07, it neglects the fact that his role as a Senator had already become subordinate to his campaign efforts by that time. It also disregards the fact that McCain’s support of Bush has been as low as 77% in ’05 and that his support for his party’s position has been as low as 67% in ’01. The argument that McCain and Palin have made in response is that John McCain has earned his reputation as a “maverick”, splitting from the President and the Republican party on a number of very important issues during the course of his House and Senate careers. Whereas Barack Obama has voted in line with his party 97%, 96% and 97% of the time in the years 2005, 2006 and 2007, respectively, John McCain has never been afraid to fight for reform, even when his own political allies disagree with him.

 

You ask, “How will McCain represent change from the failed policies of the Bush administration?” I ask you: what policies, specifically, have failed? How is the Bush administration responsible for the current economic crisis? Was it his tax cuts? No, those stimulated the economy following the recession that began at the end of Clinton’s term and which was exacerbated by 9/11. What, then? Was it Bush’s fault that the Community Reinvestment Act was updated in 1999, ordering banks to provide loans to subprime lenders or face penalties? Or that it ordered Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to buy those mortgages on the secondary market, thus allowing banks to grant additional loans to those who could not afford them? No, but Bush and later McCain did try to establish oversight over the Government Sponsored Enterprises, namely Fannie and Freddie, and their efforts were soundly rebuffed by the likes of Barney Frank and Chris Dodd. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QBRIsCkGQ0) You can’t argue that McCain and Palin need to establish specific differences with the Bush administration when neither Obama nor Biden have enumerated which policies have aversely affected the nation.

 

The argument in this election should not be “Who is going to be the most unlike Bush?” Are we simply a country of ideologues who can only vacillate between one extreme and the other? The question should be “Who has displayed a willingness to put the best interests of the country first?” You’re right, Martin. Facts matter. Voting records do matter. And while it’s very easy to cite the misleading “95%” statistic, it obfuscates the 25-year history of a man who has been tireless in his efforts to do what he felt was best for the American people (an instinct that Obama has never shown during his short and undistinguished Senate career). Who truly deserves to lay claim to the change mantle in this election? Who has the track record of bipartisan reform? Is it Barack Obama, clinging to a Lugar Bill that received unanimous support, or is it John McCain, whose Wikipedia page cites the following:

 

1983 – Opposed keeping the Marines deployed in Lebanon under Reagan; embassy later bombed, killing hundreds

1989 – Partnered with Democrat Al Gore on the 1989 Missile and Proliferation Control Act, which established sanctions on companies and nations that engaged in the trade or development of long-range missile systems, and the 1992 Iran-Iraq Arms Nonproliferation Act (commonly known as the Gore-McCain Act)

1994 – Began working with Democrat Russ Feingold on campaign finance reform, attempting to limit “soft money” contributions

1995 – One of only four Republicans in Congress to vote against the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act

1996 – The only Republican Senator to vote against the Freedom to Farm Act

1996 – One of only five Senators to vote against the Telecommunications Act of 1996

1996 – Supported the Line Item Veto Act, giving the President power to veto individual spending items, in a effort to eliminate pork barrel spending by Congress

1998 – Took on the tobacco industry, proposing legislation that would increase cigarette taxes. Opposed by Republicans, the bill failed to gain cloture

2001 – Voted against the Bush tax cuts

2001- Worked with Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman to create the 9/11 Commission; co-sponsored the Aviation and Transportation Security Act with Democrat Fritz Hollings, federalizing airport security

2002 – McCain-Feingold passed, prohibiting national political party committees from accepting or spending any funds not subject to federal limits and limiting the proliferation of issue ads

2003 -2006 – Began publishing lists on his Senate website exposing pork barrel spending by his fellow members of Congress. Has refused to request a single earmark

2003 – Began publicly questioning Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s handling of the Iraq war, saying that “All of the trends are in the wrong direction” and that more U.S. troops were needed to handle the deteriorating situation in the Sunni Triangle. By December 2004, was bluntly announcing that he had lost confidence in Rumsfeld

2003 – Co-sponsored the Climate Stewardship Act with Joe Lieberman, which would have introduced a cap and trade system. Strongly opposed by Bush and the Republicans

2005 – Led the “Gang of 14” in the Senate, establishing a compromise that prevented Republicans from deploying the “nuclear option”: constitutional changes that would have prevented Democrats from filibustering

2005 –Helped expose the Jack Abramoff Indian lobbying scandal while chairman of the Senate Indian Affairs Committee

2005 – Introduced the McCain Detainee Amendment to the Defense Appopriations bill for 2005, prohibiting inhumane treatment of prisoners, including prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. Bush initially threatened to veto the bill if it included McCain’s amendment

2006 – Worked with Democrat Ted Kennedy on comprehensive immigration reform, which would involve legalization, guest worker programs, and border enforcement. Strongly opposed by Republicans

2006 – Began strongly advocating a “troop surge” in Iraq, a plan described as “McCain’s idea” in a January 2007 Moveon.org ad. Opposed by many Republicans

2007 – As a member of the Republican Main Street Partnership, a group of moderate members of the party that tends away from the dominant social conservatism of many Republicans, voted for the Stem Cell Research Enhancement Act of 2007. Vetoed by President Bush

 

Martin, the level of ignorance and hypocrisy displayed by liberals on this issue amazes me. Here you are excoriating Palin for not citing specific examples of change, when the only reason why your candidate won the nomination is because he ran a primary campaign based on vapid idealism. He and Axelrod created a cult of personality because they knew that Barack Obama had NO RECORD of which to speak. Where was this clarion call for specifics back in January, February and March? When Obama was making people faint talking about “hope”? I just showed you a long list of examples, culled in just a few brief minutes, that display a consistent, bipartisan record of fighting for change and reform on the part of John McCain. What have you got for me? Show me anything that Obama has accomplished that should make us believe he will achieve what he promises.

 

2. Biden thoroughly discredited the “voting against the troops” point even before the post-debate spin could get underway. That Sarah Palin was able to regurgitate it in the first place represents a major improvement over last week, but then, my ability to type at all also represents a major improvement over my ability to do so when I was 5.

This is one of the benefits of having Sarah Palin on the ticket: unlike Biden with Obama, the Democrats can’t go back and find clips of her criticizing McCain. The simple fact is, no matter what he says now, Biden attacked Obama for that vote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55Kc9TR-Rbk

You can delve into all of the political nuances of, “Well, it was attached to this bill that had these conditions that I didn’t agree with…”, but using Biden’s own words against Obama is an effective attack.

3. The questions she dodged (is her favorite sports team the Mavericks or the Dodgers?) can’t get swept under the rug. What’s astonishing is that, for as much as you care about spending tendencies, neither she nor McCain was able to answer the question of what spending initiatives, if any, would have to go by the wayside in order to offset the bailout package.

Obama had no answer to this question in his debate either. Moreover, is this really an issue on which you want more attention focused? Honestly, Martin, whose overall policy will be more affected by recent events: a man with a long track record as a fiscal conservative, or a man who is promising to provide everyone in the nation with federally-funded health care? Since you seem to love details so much, how is Obama going to cut taxes on 95% of the population (despite the fact that roughly 30% of the population doesn’t actually pay taxes), yet pay for the nearly $1 trillion bailout bill, as well as $293 billion in annual spending on such proposals as nationalized health care and an extension of welfare benefits? (http://www.ntu.org/pdf/P080925_ObamaAgendaCostUpdate.pdf) Specifics, please.

4. Correcting the proper phrasing of “drill baby drill” isn’t tantamount to providing an energy solution. Every expert has noted, and McCain has conceded, that the effects of offshore drilling wouldn’t be felt for a decade. What in the interim? And frankly, what then? Was Sarah Palin unable to account for McCain’s repeated votes against alternative energy because she had no answer, or because there was none?

 

The “10 years” argument promulgated by liberals is the most asinine rebuttal I’ve ever heard. First of all, it’s demonstrably false, as many economists are quick to point out. In fact, when Newt Gingrich’s group recently tried publishing an article in the Energy Journal contending that drilling now will lower prices immediately, they were told it was being rejected. Because their thesis was already known to economists. And has been since the ‘60s. http://s3.amazonaws.com/newt/public/Newsletter072408_rejectionletter.pdf

Follow the bouncing ball: imagine you’ve invented a product (say, some sort of kitchen appliance) that’s unlike anything else on the market. You have a monopoly on it, and can sell it at whatever price sustains the demand. So you start selling it at $40. After a while, somebody takes out a patent on another product that does basically the same thing. You know that in a few years, you will no longer be the only game in town. What do you? You start flooding the market with your product. Clearly, you want to sell as much as you can now while there is no competition and the price is high. However, once you saturate the market, suddenly, there is too much product and not enough demand. So you lower the price. Perhaps you start selling it at $38 for a while. Once the demand slows down again, you lower the price a second time, maybe to $35. And so on, and so on. Future supply changes reduce prices, as they would in the case of oil. To suggest otherwise is to accept the liberal propaganda of Pelosi and Reid.

 

More than that: how long are we supposed to sit on our own massive supplies? Should we be having this same discussion 10 years from now as well? Republicans, including McCain, support an “all of the above” strategy that includes solar and wind. However, it recognizes that those sources have never worked without massive government subsidies, despite liberals calling for them since the Carter administration. Unlike many on the left, or, to paraphrase Nancy Pelosi, the “handmaidens of the environmentalist movement”, Republicans also support expanding nuclear technology and investing in our own supplies of coal, oil, natural gas and oil shale. What is the downside of drilling here, Martin? Why should we put all of our stock in alternative energy that has not worked? Because of global warming hysteria? Should we continue, like Barack Obama, to support ethanol, which has starved people the world over by depriving them of needed food supplies and which actually wastes more energy than it produces? How long should we continue to pay Saudi Arabia for its oil so that they can then funnel that money into fundamentalist mosques and terrorist organizations?

 

5. The vague generality-o-meter was off the charts. “John McCain knows how to win wars, he’s been there, you betcha.” What has he won? Where’s the record of this?

Are you still refusing to recognize the success in Iraq? The surge, the idea that he advocated, has us on the edge of victory there. I think she was also alluding to his heroism and bravery as a soldier in our military.

6. Does anyone other than the democrats care about where the actual power within Iran lies? Hint: It ain’t Ahmedinejad.

I’m not sure what your point is here. I’m assuming that you don’t believe that Khamenei and the other ayatollahs are more moderate, but that meeting with Ahmadinejad would, in and of itself, be classified as a “lower level” meeting. From Wikipedia: “Iran’s president fulfills many of the classical functions of a head of state, such as accepting the credentials of ambassadors. Since a change in the constitution removed the post of Prime Minister and merged most of the prime ministerial duties with the President’s in 1989, the once figurehead Presidential post has become a position of significant government influence. In addition, as the highest directly elected official in Iran, the President is responsive and responsible to public opinion in a way that the Supreme Leader is not. Although he is responsible to both people and the Supreme Leader, he is independent in his decisions and developing the policies of the government.” It is not the Supreme Leader attending the United Nations meetings of world leaders, or openly promising that Israel will be “wiped off the map”. It’s Ahmadinejad. And to meet with him would give him recognition that he does not deserve and will only inspire a belief that he can continue his dangerous course without impunity.

7. I’m sorry, I gotta go back to the “looking at the past” thing. How do you run on a change platform, as McCain now claims to be having run out of other options, and simply ignore the past? That doesn’t mean owning all of Bush’s failures. It does mean recognizing them, calling them what they are, and distinguishing yourself. The problem is that Sarah Palin couldn’t do that, in part because in certain areas there has been insufficient difference and in part because even where there might have been, she just wasn’t familiar enough with the details.

 

See answer to question 1.

 

8. Similarly, saying you’re a “maverick” over and over again in response to legitimate, substantive questions isn’t a sufficient response to some of us. Sorry. If facts count, and records count, you’ve gotta do more than that. At around this time when I was four, I put on a mask and said, repeatedly, that I was a Go-bot. Who gave a shit? Who should’ve?

 

Again, who is more likely to offer “reform”: the man who has voted with his own party on nearly every occasion, or a woman who challenged corrupt members of her own party, like Ted Stevens, and broke up oil monopolies in her state? Of course, in the liberal media, politics in Alaska don’t seem to count, unless they involve firing insubordinate employees or shooting wolves out of helicopters.

 

9. Did the degree to which Palin repeatedly called for “strict oversight” with respect to the economy and two seconds later said that “government should get out of the way” of American business stir anything at all within you?

In a word, yes. This is my biggest disagreement with the McCain campaign: instead of attacking the Democrats on issues like the Community Reinvestment Act (where government regulation contributed to the subprime mess), he has chosen to go populist, which sickens me and many other Republicans. I don’t think that Palin believes in more regulations, but these are the McCain talking points right now. It may very well be his undoing, because, while he’s afraid to go partisan on this issue, and instead, talks about protecting the folks on Main Street from the “corruption” on Wall Street, the Democrats, like Pelosi, have been unrelenting in laying the blame at the hands of the Bush administration.

10. “Hockey moms” is not a substantive rebuttal to anything. it wasn’t a month ago, and it’s still not.

Yes, but Joe and Jane Six-pack love it. Again, don’t forget that there’s that vast, red swath of America, full of hard-working parents who can empathize with someone like Sarah Palin. There’s a reason why she’s drawing massive crowds wherever she goes.

11. Take it from someone who’s taken a constitutional law course: Palin’s interpretation of Article I with respect to the powers of the vice president is one of the dumber things I’ve heard in a long, long time.

 

From Stephen Dinan in the Washington Times: “In attacking Vice President Dick Cheney, Mr. Biden said the vice president’s only role is to support the president and to preside over the Senate “only in a time when in fact there’s a tie vote. The Constitution is explicit.”

The Constitution, though, actually says the vice president is always president of the Senate and legal scholars say he has the right to preside at any time. Early vice presidents, such as Thomas Jefferson, actively exercised that role, the vice president still keeps offices at the Capitol, and scholars say it wasn’t until the middle of the 20th century that the vice president had an office at the executive office building… Mr. Biden, who’s been in the Senate for three decades, also mistakenly stated that the executive branch is defined in Article I of the Constitution. In fact, Article I describes the legislature, while Article II lays out the executive.” (http://washingtontimes.com/news/2008/oct/03/biden-gets-veep-role-wrong/)Were you sick from class that day? What’s Biden’s excuse?

Also, a good opportunity to look at the other lies told and idiotic statements made by Biden during the debate, which you seemed to have no problem with:

- Biden in the debate: We’re for clean coal. Biden the week before: We’re not supporting clean coal. No coal plants here in America. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjx8RnDfdvM

- At what point did NATO remove Hezbollah from Lebanon? I would like the so-called “foreign policy expert” to enlighten us all.

 

- And as someone who took a constitutional law class, do you really think it’s appropriate for a Senator to say we should be nominating Supreme Court judges based on ideology, rather than a sound ability to interpret the Constitution?

 

On the off chance you were to consider that records actually matter, here’s something you can respond to that Palin cannot: “He voted four out of five times for George Bush’s budget, which put us a half a trillion dollars in debt this year and over $3 trillion in debt since he’s got there.

He has not been a maverick in providing health care for people. He has voted against — he voted including another 3.6 million children in coverage of the existing health care plan, when he voted in the United States Senate.

He’s not been a maverick when it comes to education. He has not supported tax cuts and significant changes for people being able to send their kids to college.

He’s not been a maverick on the war. He’s not been a maverick on virtually anything that genuinely affects the things that people really talk about around their kitchen table.”

Scott, without simply saying the word “maverick” a lot, what have McCain’s maverick credentials been over the past 4 years? Surge, ok. And?

 

See number 1 for some pretty big examples of how McCain has been a “maverick” the last four years. How can you take Biden seriously when he says that McCain has not been a “maverick” on the war? The surge nearly cost him a shot at the nomination. The rest of that soundbite is nothing more than a litany of liberal, candy-coated populism. McCain didn’t support SCHIP because it was a Trojan horse for socialized medicine and would have increased the burden on taxpayers, so it’s a cheap shot to say that he didn’t want to provide health care for kids. How about mentioning the countless dollars that line every Democratic politician’s pocket, flooding in from teachers unions and other school administrators, insuring higher salaries, protected bureaucracies, and HIGHER TUITION COSTS at universities?

 

And while we’re at it, how about talking about how Obama’s policies will increase the cost of living and cost Americans jobs? Sure, you can lower taxes on the middle class, but what happens when you raise taxes on corporations? Are we to believe that these companies will just accept such taxes as the new cost of doing business? Or, will they increase the cost of their products, thus passing it on to the very middle and working classes that Obama claims he wants to protect? What will he do when companies decide to move their plants to China and India, where their overhead costs are cheaper? Or when they cut jobs in America because the Democrats have raised the minimum wage?

 

And then there’s Ayers and Wright and Rezko, all of which were reported on extensively and pressed hard by none other than Hillary Clinton. And to what end?

Perhaps the question is this simple.

Scott, do you think Barack Obama is a terrorist? Do you think he hates his country? Do you think he’s out to become president of this country solely to destroy it? Do you think he hates white people? If the answer to any of the above questions (and I don’t doubt you’ll find a way not to answer them) is “no,” is it for any reason other than you’ve simply ignored the issues? Or is it possible to have been suffused in coverage of them, to have examined them and the man himself, and to have reached some other conclusion than Obama’s first goal as president would be to FUCKING KILL US ALL? (And by us, of course, I mean you, my white friend…)

[Separate Post] Sometimes, while sifting through a mound of distortions this high, you miss the obvious ones.

With this in mind:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/14/AR2007081400950.html

 

You responded to this question in the same way that most liberals have responded to it: by taking it to an extreme so far out of bounds that the question itself is then deemed off base. No one but the most radical right-wingers have suggested that Barack Obama is a terrorist, that he hates his country or that he is some sort of “Manchurian Candidate” seeking its destruction. Nor do we think he hates white people or that he is secretly a Muslim. What his associations with people like Wright and Ayers display is a tendency on Obama’s part to blame America first, to look at our nation as the cause of, rather than the solution to, many of the world’s problems. That is why he stands before crowds in Berlin and apologizes for the US’s failure to live up to their expectations. Why he tells a little girl at a town hall that his country is not what it once was. Why his closing remarks in last week’s debate spoke about elevating our standing in the world. In his view, our actions have let the world down and we must atone for them.

 

That is what Wright expressed when he attacked America as “the US of KKK A”: it is an imperialist regime, suffused with racism and hatred. If Barack Obama is completely opposed to such sentiments, why did he sit and listen to them, regurgitated on a weekly basis, for 20 years? Why would he develop a close friendship with such a man, to the point where Wright performed his marriage ceremony as well as the baptism of his children?

 

William Ayers spent over a decade bombing various government agencies, from police headquarters to the Capitol to the Pentagon. Three of his associates in Weatherman were working on a bomb that was meant to go off at an officers’ dance in Fort Dix. Many soldiers would have been killed if the bomb had not detonated in their apartment while they were building it. Ayers and his group advocated the overthrow of the government, hoping to replace it with a Communist regime. They consorted openly with the North Vietnamese during the Vietnam War and conspired to bring about the victory of the Vietcong by weakening our resolve from within through a campaign of violence. Several members, including Ayers’ wife, Bernardine Dohrn, received rings from the Vietnamese made from metal taken from the aircraft of downed US pilots, which they wore proudly. Why would Barack Obama begin his political career with a fundraiser held at Ayers’ home? Why would he agree to sit on several boards and work closely with him in the 1990s? Ayers has not repudiated his actions, and he is a free man only because of illegal evidence gathering conducted by the FBI. Does it not speak to Obama’s character and judgment that he would associate with someone who has such disdain for our country? Would you associate with someone like that? Would you have any respect for me if I were friends with such a man? Why does Obama get a pass?

 

What scares Republicans so much about Obama isn’t that we believe he would be unwilling to respond to the overt acts of aggression taken against our country, but that he would fail to resist the more subtle instances. No, I do not believe that Barack Obama is secretly a Muslim. But he was certainly raised by a Muslim stepfather. He attended Qur’an study, by his own admission, and was probably friends with a number of young Muslim boys and girls in Indonesia. Would someone like Barack Obama, with that background in mind, have the resolve to, say, increase profiling of Muslims traveling on airplanes? Would he pass measures to restrict Muslims from accepting high profile government positions? Or would he be more apt to move in the opposite direction in the name of diversity? Would he crack down on the mosques that are springing up within this country preaching hate against the US and Israel, or would he sympathize with their anger, believing it is a result of poverty and Western imperialism? Would he stand up for freedom of speech, or would he kowtow to Muslim civil rights groups crying “Islamophobia” at every turn?

 

If Barack Obama sees the United States in such flawed terms, would he have the nerve to pressure our so-called allies in NATO to increase their support for the War on Terror? Or would he simply ask them what we need to do to absolve ourselves in their eyes? If Barack Obama receives intelligence that, say, a nation like Syria is supporting terrorists and is allowing them a base from which to plan attacks, would he launch a pre-emptive strike? If Iran attacked Israel, or seemed likely to, would he have the nerve to defend the Jewish State? Or would he wait for UN approval?

 

The biggest threat to our society right now is the doctrine of multiculturalism, openly embraced by liberalism. Multiculturalism goes beyond preaching tolerance for others; it states that our way of life is no better than anyone else’s. It removes any reason to be proud of Western Civilization, because it says that there is nothing uniquely special about the values upon which our country was built. When you combine that with the views of men like Wright and Ayers, such a worldview becomes toxic: in their eyes, not only is the United States not better than anyone else, but because of past sins such as slavery, it is far worse. Clearly, some of this has shaped Obama, based on the way he constantly diminishes our nation’s role as a leader and a champion for justice. Since 9/11, we have liberated Afghanistan from the Taliban, crippled al Qaeda, thus decreasing their ability to launch attacks on targets worldwide, toppled a cruel dictator in Saddam Hussein, and given millions of Iraqis the gift of liberty. We’ve also provided billions of dollars in aid to Africa to fight AIDS and millions more to help the tsunami victims in Indonesia. Yet in Barack Obama’s mind, we should be ashamed of our actions over the last 8 years.

 

Re-examine that Obama quote, raised by Palin in the debate, where he states that our soldiers are “just air-raiding villages and killing civilians”. Set aside the fact that the article you link to admits that “tracking civilian deaths is a difficult task”, particularly, I would add, when dealing with a country whose populace still resents our presence and whose President has clearly played both sides. Someone wishing to become Commander-in-Chief of our Armed Forces should not publicly assert such an attitude with regards to our military. There are other ways to say what Obama was trying to say; for instance, “Our mission should be to have enough troops so that we minimize the number of civilian casualties.” Saying it in such a manner respects that the fact that civilians do die during war, but shows sympathy for our soldiers. Saying what Obama said blames our soldiers and presents them as callous murderers. To be honest, I’m shocked to see you try to defend it.

 

The Left seems to think that the phrase, “giving aid and comfort to the enemy” is just something stodgy old Republicans thought up to repudiate those who stand in the way of their warmongering. But I assure you it is not. There’s a reason why Osama bin Laden parrots the talking points of the Far Left (http://alistishhad.wordpress.com/2007/09/11/as-sahab-shaik-usamah-a-message-to-the-american-people/), decrying corporations, the threat of global warming and quoting Noam Chomsky. Comments like the ones Obama made, along with the actions of groups and people like Code Pink, Cindy Sheehan, and Keith Olbermann, undermine our efforts every bit as much as Hanoi Jane Fonda and Bill Ayers did during the Vietnam War. Again, what Obama said about our troops is an example of blaming America first rather than attacking the true villains.

 

Martin, this issue goes well beyond political debate. We are facing the most dangerous enemy in the history of our nation, one that is single-minded in its purpose and supremely confident in its ideology. If we do not wage this war with the same sense of self-assurance, our entire civilization is at risk. Men like Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers serve only to weaken our resolve, and for Barack Obama to embrace their ideologies in any way is both disgusting and extremely perilous.